1. A dog is always willing to listen to you—without trying to solve all your problems.
2. Dogs will eat anything you give them—happily and without complaining.
3. Dogs don’t have mothers-in-law who find fault with everything you do (or don’t do) for their “precious boy.”
4. A dog will never ask if he can buy a boat.
5. Dogs do not spend 5 hours playing golf.
6. Dogs are happy to watch romantic comedies, rather than football.
7. Dogs are loyal. Even if they hump your best friend’s leg, they will do it in front of you and not try to go home with her.
8. Dogs will never complain about how much you spend on personal grooming.
9. A dog will never contradict you in front of your child or give you small appliances for your birthday or Christmas.
10. A dog will never use all the hot water and leave soppy towels on the bathroom floor.
11. Dogs think you are just as attractive now as you were 20 lbs. ago.
12. A dog will kiss you when you are crying your eyes out—not accuse you of being “manipulative.”
13. A dog does not believe he can fix anything just because he has a Y chromosome. His manhood will not be threatened when you call a plumber.
And last, but not least:
I4. You can neuter a dog anytime you want.
Original Counter-post by Doxy, seconded by me.
Doxy writes beautifully at Wormwood's Doxy