a hard day

Today is a very hard day for me. I had to drop Emma off at the social worker's office for her new family to pick her up. Even though we knew it was coming for a while now and even though I had been working on owning the pain and sadness leading up to today, it is still incredibly painful.

Emma has been such an amazing gift from God. Her departure leaves a void in my heart. I have been telling her how much she is loved and how she will be prayed for every day and now I have to trust her to God's care and keeping.

Strangely I don't feel pissed at God. I guess I have learned to not always try to figure out they "why" in everything that happens

But part of me wishes so much that God's care and keeping would have left her here. My heart is broken and my eyes are filled with tears. Letting go is such hard work.

.

Silence

Many of you have enjoyed the quotes I have posted from the Ven. Wuling. Posted on her blog today was a thought on silence. Here is one paragraph from it. Her insight certainly speaks to my heart.

How much of our time is spent in unnecessary conversation every day? One hour? Two? Whatever it is, it adds up. And how many times in that unnecessary conversation do we say something that irritates or even hurts another person? However many times we did, it was that many times too much. For the sake of meaningless conversation, we will have created an enmity. One that we will encounter in the future.

Read her entire blog entry here.

Thought for today

God is the friend of silence.
Trees, flowers, grass grow in silence.
See the stars, moon, and sun
how they move in silence.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta