I’ve hatched a small menu of different kinds of sermons, using the egg as an analogy. What do you think?
- raw: no preparation; obviously winging it; can’t be bothered to let it cook first; nothing to bite into.
- poached: this sermon is totally jacked from someone else; it’s not original; it’s stolen!
- hard boiled: this one is hard to crack; the work is left up to you; but it’s hardly worth the effort.
- over easy: the most popular; the most digestible; palatable; gentle on you emotionally, psychologically, intellectually and spiritually.
- sunny side up: a real happy time; colorful; fun; humorous; not the least bit offensive; slides down real nice.
- scrambled: also popular; this one’s all over the place; you leave wondering what the heck he was talking about.
- omelet: basically syncretistic in orientation; will include anything; adds a little from here, a little from there; the egg itself is not enough; there must be more.
- Benedict: fancy; high-falooting; intellectual; preached by those more highly edumicated.
- just the whites: this kind has nothing to say, but they still say it; you won’t grow even an ounce digesting these.
- Cadbury: so sweet it can’t be real; generally shaped like one but upon inspection exposed as a fraud; too much of this will make you sick; once a year will do.
Okay, I’ve come up with ten. Can anyone come up with more? Leave it in the comments. This could be fun! I’m not yoking!