musings

seeing Jesus

2011-12-19T03:41:00.001-09:00

The only way we can see Jesus in others, in the hunger and thirst and
nakedness and estrangement and imprisonment of others, is to have known him
ourselves and to have met him in those very places in our own lives. The
only way we can touch Jesus in others is to have touched him in the broken
places of our own lives, the very places where he has come to seek us out
and to offer us salvation. - Br. David Vryhof

Couldn't say it better myself!

2011-12-04T20:19:00.000-09:00

Come and Find the Quiet Center

2011-10-09T12:39:00.000-08:00

WWJD

2011-09-17T07:31:00.001-08:00

If you ask yourself, "What would Jesus do?" you will always end up answering the question yourself. If you ask yourself, "What did Jesus do?" then Jesus will answer your question.

From the very talented Jonathan who has the blog MadPriest.

Husband and husband

2011-07-27T08:15:00.001-08:00

The next generation? by satellithias

GAY SOLDIER' PARENTS FIGHT MARRIAGE BAN

2011-07-04T09:17:00.000-08:00

This is very powerful.

Hey, Soul Sister

2011-06-22T17:26:00.001-08:00

haven't posted in quite a while and love this song!

word play

2011-02-10T17:20:00.003-09:00

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Scroll down to check out some winners. The English language needs this...

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

18) lubrican n. 1) balm used in lieu of flowers, jewelry, fine dinin. 2) scoring a run without lifting a bat. 3) antonymn of lubricant.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

giving to god

2010-12-31T10:59:00.001-09:00

Oh Happy Day! (Full version) - Choeur Gospel Célébration de Québec & Syl...

2010-12-24T16:46:00.000-09:00

View of God

2010-11-16T16:39:00.000-09:00

This was posted by a young friend of mine. It shows what a poor job the church has done in sharing the good news. Considering what you tend to hear from tele-evangelists I loved the "he needs money" line. Certainly what way too many people are hearing! We need to do better!

Here is what my friend had to say:

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in
the sky who watches everything you do... And
the man has a list of ten things he doesn’t want you
to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special
place of torture and anguish for you to
...live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

Alex now destroying his toys

2010-10-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

Alex really enjoying his new toys!

2010-10-10T16:38:00.000-08:00

Alex is really enjoying his new toys!

How to Avoid Stewardship

2010-10-07T12:03:00.002-08:00

How to Avoid Stewardship

As stewardship season rolls around, I thought I would offer some tips on how to avoid growing your faith through financial generosity. These are practical applications for those who prefer King Midas’ touch to the healing touch of Christ the King.

1. Tell the rector that you are “morally opposed” to pledging. After all, shouldn’t the church live up to its name as a community of “faith” and take it on faith that there will be enough money to pay for the rector’s health benefits?

To read the rest go here.

The Anglican Communion and homosexuality

2010-10-04T11:14:00.000-08:00

Please read this excellent blog entry from the Rev. Susan Russel. She says it is a rant, but it is a well though out post worth reading.

just a snippet here:

"While Rowan Williams is whining about homosexuality "wounding the side" of the institutional church, he remains blind to the cancer of homophobia that is spreading in the Body of Christ. And it's time somebody pointed out the difference."

Prayer of confession

2010-09-26T13:32:00.000-08:00

This prayer of confession was used to Seward Memorial United Methodist Church today:

"Compassionate and merciful God, we confess that we sometimes ignore our responsibilities to you and to humanity. If ever we trample on the rights of others while asserting our own right: God forgive. If ever we sit by the sidelines, doing nothing, but criticizing those who do: God forgive. If ever, by our example and deed, we hurt little ones or cause them to do wrong: God forgive. Grant, O God, that our lives might be flavored with the Spirit of Jesus Christ, as salt flavors food. Amen."

Bennison refuses to resign

2010-09-23T06:44:00.002-08:00

Sadly no surprise here on this from EpiscopalLife Online.

PENNSYLVANIA: Bishop declines request to resign

By Mary Frances Schjonberg, September 22, 2010

[Episcopal News Service] Saying he has "always been, innocent of the charges against me," Episcopal Diocese of Pennsylvania Bishop Charles Bennison announced late Sept. 22 that he would not honor his colleagues' request that he resign his position. Bennison, via a statement e-mailed to Episcopal News Service by his publicist, said that he hoped "the suffering I have endured during the past three years has strengthened me and will enable me to work for reconciliation within the diocese."
The House of Bishops announced their request at the end of their Sept. 16-21 fall gathering in Phoenix, Arizona. In a lengthy and strongly worded "mind of the house" resolution, they said they were "profoundly troubled by the outcome of the disciplinary action" against Bennison, and had concluded that his "capacity to exercise the ministry of pastoral oversight is irretrievably damaged."
"Therefore, we exhort Charles, our brother in Christ, in the strongest possible terms, to tender his immediate and unconditional resignation as the bishop of the Diocese of Pennsylvania," the bishops said.
"We will continue to pray for Charles, his family, and every person who has been hurt by the church," the bishops said.
Bennison replied in his statement that he appreciated the prayers of his peers in the House of Bishops "and understand that they are concerned for the welfare of my soul."
"However, they have no cause to be worried," he said.
The Rev. Glenn Matis, president of the Standing Committee, told ENS late Sept. 22 that he was "not surprised by Bishop Bennison's statement."
"He has made it crystal clear to us that he will not resign or retire," he said in an e-mailed statement. "The only hope we have is that when he reaches the mandatory age of 72, he will resign or retire. This diocese is facing major issues of finances, property, and declining church membership. Under his leadership, it is a just matter of time before we are facing serious financial problems. His continued presence among us will further divide the diocese."
Bennison, 66, resumed his role as diocesan bishop Aug. 16, some 11 days after the church's Court of Review for the Trial of a Bishop overturned a lower church court's finding that he ought to be deposed (removed) from ordained ministry because he had engaged in conduct unbecoming a member of the clergy. The review court agreed with one of the lower court's two findings of misconduct, but said that Bennison could not be deposed because the charge was barred by the church's statute of limitations.
Episcopal Church canons have no time limit for bringing claims arising out of physical violence, sexual abuse or sexual exploitation of a person younger than 21 years (Canon IV.19.4(a) and (b). The statute of limitations on other offenses committed by clergy is 10 years, with certain exceptions extending the time period by a small number of additional years.
The decision by the Court of Review for the Trial of a Bishop is here.
The lower court, the Court for the Trial of a Bishop, had called for Bennison's deposition after it found that 35 years ago when he was rector of St. Mark's Episcopal Church in Upland, California, he failed to respond properly after learning that his brother, John Bennison, was "engaged in a sexually abusive and sexually exploitive relationship" with a minor parishioner. At the time, John Bennison was a 24-year-old newly ordained deacon (later priest) whom Charles Bennison had hired as youth minister. The abuse allegedly lasted for more than three years from the time the minor was 14 years old.
Charles Bennison was found to have failed to discharge his pastoral obligations to the girl, the members of her family, and the members of the parish youth group as well as church authorities after he learned of his brother's behavior. The court said that he suppressed the information about his brother until 2006, when he disclosed publicly what he knew.
Bennison had been inhibited (prevented) from exercising his ordained ministry since the fall of 2007 when the disciplinary action began. The ban expired with the review court's decision.
"I have deep compassion for the young woman who was abused," Bennison said in his statement. "If I could have prevented that abuse, I would certainly have done so. But I did not know of the relationship until it was over, and I can not pretend otherwise."
"I have nothing but affection for her and for her parents, whom I loved very much, and if there were any way that I could help her now, I would do so," he said, but added that his resignation "will not ease her pain or remove the sting of the abusive relationship."

The bishop concluded that he hoped that "the members of the diocese and I can put the past behind us and work together to achieve our goals."
In the middle of the House of Bishops' meeting, an article about the tension in the diocese appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer newspaper. It quotes Bennison as calling the efforts to depose him "Machiavellian," the charges against him "Kafka-esque," and his 2007 inhibition "craziness."
"Church leaders wanted him out, he surmised, because of his sometimes-divisive leadership style and controversial financial priorities," the paper reported.
The diocesan Standing Committee has been at odds with Bennison since the mid-2000s over concerns about how he managed the diocese's assets and other issues. More than once in the past the Standing Committee has called for Bennison's resignation, including on the day he returned to work in August. Most recently, the Standing Committee had asked for the help of the House of Bishops for its "support and assistance" in securing Bennison's retirement or resignation.

-- The Rev. Mary Frances Schjonberg is a national correspondent for the Episcopal News Service and editor of Episcopal News Monthly and Episcopal News Quarterly.

HOB calls on Bp. Bennison to resign

2010-09-21T17:32:00.000-08:00

I'm very pleased at the strong position taken by the HOB as shown in the release below. Sadly I'm guessing Bp. Bennison will just consider this more of his sharing the cross of Jesus. This guy just seems incapable of getting it!

The Episcopal Church
Office of Public Affairs

House of Bishops to Charles Bennison: “We exhort Charles, our brother in Christ, in the strongest possible terms, to tender his immediate and unconditional resignation as the Bishop of the Diocese of Pennsylvania.”

[September 21, 2010] The House of Bishop of The Episcopal Church, meeting in Phoenix, AZ, approved the following resolution:

Grace to you and peace in Jesus Christ our Lord. As the bishops of The Episcopal Church, bound by solemn vows to share in the governance of the whole church, guard its unity, and defend those who have no helper, we are committed to safeguarding the dignity of every person entrusted to our care. We are devoted especially to the care of the young, the weak, and those most vulnerable among us. Because of the depth of these commitments, long held among us, we are profoundly troubled by the outcome of the disciplinary action against the Bishop of the Diocese of Pennsylvania, The Right Reverend Charles E. Bennison, Jr.

In a lengthy judicial process Bishop Bennison was found guilty on two counts of conduct unbecoming a member of the clergy during a lengthy judicial process. Subsequently, the Court of Review reversed one count, upheld one count, but vacated the sentence because the statute of limitations had expired. We respect the decision of the Court of Review and we share their disappointment and find the ultimate resolution of this matter unsatisfactory and morally repugnant. The wholly inadequate response of our brother bishop to the sexual assault upon a minor is an inexcusable violation of his ordination vows. We note here two excerpts from the decisions of the ecclesiastical court:

The tragedy of this conduct unbecoming a member of the clergy is exacerbated by the fact that, during the trial of the case, Appellant testified that, upon reflection on his failure to act, he concludes that his actions were “just about right.” They were not just about right. They were totally wrong. Appellant’s testimony on this subject revealed impaired judgment with regard to the conduct that is the subject of the First Offence and that is clearly and unequivocally conduct unbecoming a member of the clergy. (Court of Review, page 25).

… we find that Appellant committed conduct unbecoming a member of the clergy. Because the statute of limitations has run on that offense, we have no choice under the canons of the Church but to reverse the judgment of the Trial Court finding that Appellant is guilty of conduct unbecoming a member of the clergy . . . (Court of Review, page 38).

The bishops of this church stand in unequivocal solidarity with anyone who has been sexually abused or mistreated by a member of our clergy or by any member of our church. We apologize, out of the depths of God’s compassion for every human being, to the woman who has been victimized by Bishop Bennison’s lack of responsible action, and to all those who have in any way been hurt by our church. We are deeply sorry and we are committed to consistent discipline for those who bring shame upon the Body of Christ by sinful, demeaning, and selfish behavior that takes from another human being their God-given dignity.

As the House of Bishops, we have come to the conclusion that Bishop Bennison’s capacity to exercise the ministry of pastoral oversight is irretrievably damaged. Therefore, we exhort Charles, our brother in Christ, in the strongest possible terms, to tender his immediate and unconditional resignation as the Bishop of the Diocese of Pennsylvania. For the sake of the wholeness and unity of the body of Christ, in the Diocese of Pennsylvania and in the church, we implore our brother to take this action without further delay.

This matter has weighed heavily upon the hearts of every member of the House of Bishops and it has been held in prayer not only among us, but by the good and faithful clergy and people of our church. We will continue to pray for Charles, his family, and every person who has been hurt by the church. We pledge to continue to seek God’s guidance and we resolve to lead our church with compassion, justice, and mercy.

# # # #

For more info contact:
Neva Rae Fox
Public Affairs Officer
The Episcopal Church
newsline@episcopalchurch.org
212-716-6080 Mobile: 917-478-5659

crazy people and book burning

2010-09-07T17:34:00.000-08:00

I just don't understand the book burning thing. First, don't these people ever read history. You don't see many book burners remembered for being like Jesus. On the plus side, an unknown person out on the fringe now has his moment in the sun. And I'm willing to bet he is cashing in on it too!

He made it on national news this evening, so obviously he has hit a nerve.

And of course he believes it is what Jesus would want him to do.

Pretty sad.

Who needs God?

2010-08-27T11:58:00.002-08:00

A great joke from Robin.

One day a group of atheists got together and decided that humans had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked a spokesman to go and tell God that he was no longer needed.
The spokesman walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that you’re no longer needed. We’re to the point that we can synthesis new elements, we can create the building blocks of life in a test tube, we can clone sheep and soon we will be able to clone people. There’s no end to the miraculous things we can do. You’ve become irrelevant.”
God listened patiently. After the spokesman finished talking, God said, “Very well! How about this? Let’s have a person-making contest.” To which the spokesman replied, “OK, great!”
But God added, “Now we’re going to do this the old fashion way, just as I did it originally.”
The spokesman said, “Sure, no problem” and bent down and grabbed a handful of dirt.
God smiled and said, “No, no, no . . . You get your own dirt!”

thought for day

2010-08-23T20:07:00.002-08:00

Thanks to my friend Dennis for posting this on FB.

There is a really deep well inside me. And in it dwells God ... But more often stones and grit block the well, and God is buried beneath. Then God must be dug out again.- Etty Hillesum
from An Interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum, 1941-1943

Prayer request

2010-07-27T17:51:00.002-08:00

Pray for David Hawkins a local minister who runs the Seaman's Mission in Seward. He was found outside unconscious while walking his dog and is currently in the hospital.

a bit of humor

2010-07-16T07:08:00.000-08:00

I laughed so hard I was crying!

Grace

2010-07-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

I was visiting with a good friend this week and me mentioned the importance of grace in his faith tradition. And they really live into it. I was thinking of other faith traditions which, while claiming the important of grace, display a noticeable lack of grace in their theology and practice. Which is very sad.

Thinking about our discussion, I realized how fortunate I am to have received so much grace in my life. I have been blessed so much, way beyond what I deserve, but I suppose that is that grace is all about!

thought for day

2010-07-10T18:22:00.000-08:00

“You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” - Anne Lamott.

Jesus nominated to the Supreme Court

2010-07-03T07:20:00.000-08:00

A Democratic Party President nominated Jesus of Nazareth to become an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America.

Republican Senators were outraged. They complained that:

1. He consistently and constantly re-interpreted the law.
2. He had nothing to say against sodomy.
3. He was opposed to divorce (even for the rich).
4. He was soft on sin, and refused to condemn sinners.
5. He taught that people should care for the poor, the naked, the prisoners, the hungry etc.
6. He had little respect for family values, and was quite scathing about his birth family.
7. He fed the “unworthy” hungry.
8. He told folks to love their enemies.
9. He was unemployed for three years.
10. He was in favour of paying taxes.
11. He thought that foreigners were as worthy as were his native people.
12. He consorted with an enemy Roman Centurion.
13. .He said “let your yes be yes”, and “let your no be no”. (The Republicans at least liked the “no” bit).

Every Republican Senator thought that Jesus was unfit for the Supreme Court.

Stolen shamelessly from Povey Prattle

Prayer of confession

2010-05-02T13:50:00.000-08:00

From the prayer of confession at Seward Memorial United Methodist Church today:

God, you call us to proclaim a gospel we find difficult to practice at times. You ask us to love as we have been loved. But our understanding of love is clouded by the experience of failed love, broken love, selfish love. Remind us of the love you pour out in the act of creation, in the gift of redemption, in the power of inspiration. And help us to love. Forgive us for unloving thoughts, words, and deeds, O God whose name and nature are love."

Prayer request

2010-04-17T12:51:00.002-08:00

Thanks to those who prayed for little Silas. He is home and well!

Prayer request

2010-04-09T06:14:00.001-08:00

Please pray for 2 week old Silas, the son of one of my co-workers. He was medivaced to Anchorage yesterday.

thought for day

2010-03-30T07:15:00.001-08:00

Stolen from my friend Dan over at FB.

"Quote of the day: Obama is not a brown-skinned, anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus." -John Fugelsang (the son of a former nun and Franciscan Brother)"

All Glory,Laud, and Honor

2010-03-27T15:25:00.002-08:00

This is Christianity????

2010-02-13T09:53:00.002-09:00

Buena Park pastor prayed for Murtha’s death

February 9th, 2010, 12:56 pm · 127 Comments · posted by Martin Wisckol, Politics reporter

Southern Baptist Pastor Wiley Drake of Buena Park sent out an email Monday night, saying that perhaps his prayers had been answered with the death of Rep. John Murtha yesterday.

“Maybe God took him out,” Drake wrote. “Maybe God Answered our IMPRECATORY prayer that we prayed every 30 days.”

The Pennsylvania congressman, a decorated former Marine who fiercely opposed the Iraq war, died at the age of 77 after complications from gallbladder surgery.

I asked Drake if his statements weren’t distasteful, particularly coming immediately after Murtha’s death. He said that as a Christian, he didn’t buy into the sentiment of not speaking ill of the dead.

If you want to be totally disgusted you can read the rest of the article here.

I am amazed at the evil of some so-called Christians. It is truly mind boggling.

Fr. Matthew Presents

2010-01-22T07:13:00.002-09:00

Fr. Matthew talks about Haiti, Pat Robertson and the Devil (who I think might be the same person).

Episcopal Relief & Development - Home

2010-01-17T08:28:00.000-09:00

Episcopal Relief & Development - Home

Please consider giving generously to help with the disaster in Haiti!

thought for today

2010-01-15T10:45:00.000-09:00

The irony would be delicious if it were not so bitter: earnest theologians have been earnestly persuading Christians for sixteen centuries that their gospel supports violence, while massive outpourings of citizens in one officially atheist country after another [during the peaceful overturning of the Soviet regime and its allies at the end of the Cold War] recently have demonstrated the effectiveness of Jesus’ teaching of nonviolence as a means of liberation.

- Walter Wink, from his book The Powers That Be

A response to Pat Robertson's comments regarding Haiti

2010-01-15T07:05:00.001-09:00

A very good response to the very unchristian comments of Pat Robertson. I hope Pat finds it in his heart to repent, but I won't hold my breath.

The Newsboys

2010-01-12T12:55:00.001-09:00

thought for today

2010-01-04T16:37:00.001-09:00

The whole purpose of the Bible, it seems to me, is to convince people to set the written word down in order to become living words in the world for God's sake. For me, this willing conversion of ink back to blood is the full substance of faith.

- Barbara Brown Taylor, from her book, Leaving Church

thought for today

2010-01-01T08:24:00.001-09:00

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music" - George Carlin.

This year - I intend to dance.

New Year

2010-01-01T08:23:00.000-09:00

This came from my friend Anne. I love it!

May you always make the right moves.

MAY YOU ALWAYS FIND SHELTER FROM ANY STORM

May you remain good looking and looking good !

May you find perfect balance in the company you keep.

May you have as much fun as you can before someone makes you stop.

May the worst thing that happens to you come in slobberry pink and furry TAN.

May you manage to MAKE time for siesta.

MAY ALL THE NEW FOLKS YOU MEET BE INTERESTING & KIND

May your accessories always harmonize with your natural beauty!

Should your mouth ever be bigger than your stomach, may you have a chewing good time!

MAY YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY AND KNOW WHEN 2 RUN

AND MAY YOUR FRIENDS ALWAYS BRING YOU JOY

HAVE A GREAT YEAR !!!!

very talented

2009-12-31T15:30:00.001-09:00

Happy New Year

2009-12-31T08:19:00.000-09:00

12 Days of Christmas

2009-12-29T11:31:00.000-09:00

Thanks to Wounded Bird for this gem!

thought for the day

2009-12-29T07:39:00.001-09:00

"When we get it right, 'I'm sorry' is redemption"

(was on a TV show, I don't remember which one)

I wonder as I wander

2009-12-25T07:10:00.000-09:00

Lo, How A Rose Er' Blooming

2009-12-24T21:11:00.000-09:00

O Holy Night

2009-12-24T11:24:00.000-09:00

hope?

2009-12-23T15:55:00.003-09:00

Some posted the following lyrics from Rufus Wainwright:

"don't forget Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Once were a family poor but rich in hope, yeah Don't forget Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Running from the law, King Herod had imposeth And they were each one quite odd And mensch, a virgin, and a God But don't forget that what kept them aflow Floating through the desert doesn't take a boat no Don't forget that what kept them above Is unconditional love"

There were a few comments regarding the beauty, etc. But I have to say I hate it. I just don't like this sort of thing. Why? It cleans up the narrative so much as to have to place in the real world in my book. Were they "a family poor but rich in hope"? Well I'm sure they were rather poor. It is the rich in hope I question. Of course I have no idea what the truth is. But when we turn these people into idols with no human failings we do damage to the scriptures. I suspect that while there might have been hopeful moments, there was a lot of fear and terror and wondering just what in the world is going on going through their minds.

Let us resist the temptation to see everything through rose colored glasses. We loose a lot of opportunities to learn and grow.

happy men

2009-12-23T12:04:00.001-09:00

Thanks to the Wounded Bird for this gem!

Men are just happier people -- what do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress -- $5,000; Tux rental -- $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $7.49 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can do your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

It's just not fair. However, I note that, despite their advantages, some men ARE depressed! What is their PROBLEM?

Oh Come, Oh Come Emmanuel

2009-12-23T12:03:00.001-09:00

thought for today

2009-12-22T07:37:00.001-09:00

From a FaceBook post from my friend Fran.

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. - Oren Arnold

best friends

2009-12-19T09:57:00.001-09:00

This came from my Mom. I am NOT the man in the picture. :)

This explains why I forward jokes.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there. Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl, gave it to the dog and took a long drink himself.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back towards the man who was standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but just want to keep in contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also, to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get, a forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime!

Cheers........

Mary and Joseph

2009-12-17T16:03:00.002-09:00

This was great and stolen shamelessly from the blog of Three Rivers Episcopal.

Semi-nude Mary and Joseph spark outrage in New Zealand

From the "You Can't Make this Stuff Up" Department. New Zealand Division.

A New Zealand church has sparked outrage by erecting a billboard depicting Mary and Joseph lying semi-nude beneath the sheets.

In an unorthodox take on the Christmas tale, the billboard depicts a forlorn Joseph and Mary looking to the sky with a caption which reads: "Poor Joseph. God is a hard act to follow."

The St Matthew-in-the-City church said it wanted to inspire people to talk about the Christmas story.

But within five hours of the billboard going up in downtown Auckland a man was standing on his car roof painting over the raunchy image.

Archdeacon Glynn Cardy said the church meant to challenge a fundamentalist interpretation of Christ's birth.

"What we're trying to do is to get people to think more about what Christmas is all about. Is it about a spiritual male God sending down sperm so a child would be born, or is it about the power of love in our midst as seen in Jesus?"

Cardy said one person had threatened to tear down the billboard but that of the 20 odd emails and phone calls he had received "about 50% said they loved it, and about 50% said it was terribly offensive".

The Catholic church joined those on the attack, accusing the Anglican church of disrespect.

"It's flying in the face of our 2,000-year-old beliefs," a Catholic church spokesman, Lyndsay Freer, said.

The rest is here-

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/dec/17/nude-mary-joseph-new-zealand

On Jordan's Bank

2009-12-14T06:30:00.001-09:00

From the Lazy Blogger's Post Generator

2009-12-12T11:27:00.000-09:00

From the Lazy Blogger's Post Generator

Crikey! I just opened mine eyes, and lo! I have not updated this since people stopped clapping and Tinkerbell died... You would not believe how good I look after all the plastic surgery. Jealous much? Don't be, it was very painful..

I am lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-english with setting fire to people wearing Crocs, hoping you haven't found other blogs, just generally being asleep, dreaming and chancing to every Lost Boy that crosses my path, my day seems to be a litany of stuff and giggles from the moment my children manage to unlock my bedroom door and use me as a jumping castle to 11pm at which point I fall asleep on the couch. I am not complaining though. life happens.

I go, my lords and ladies; just I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. Go with God, good friends. What do you mean you don't believe me?.

Religious people

2009-12-11T06:33:00.003-09:00

This is taken from today's entry in Forward Day By Day. The passage is Matthew 23:27-39.

"What follows is written only to religious people. If you are a secularist or an atheist, stop reading now. This is not for your eyes.

I'm very devout and I'm known for it. People aren't invited to write for this publication unless they're known to be devout. We devout people are particularly susceptible to certain sins. Other people occasionally wallow in those sins as well, but we're more likely to. First among the sins of the devout is hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy is saying one thing and doing another. It's talking that talk but not walking the walk. it's reciting the creeds and the prayers, then behaving as if they don't mean anything. It's going to church not to have our petty prejudices changed, but to have them confirmed and made to look respectable. It's religion that starts on Sunday and ends on Sunday. It's looking good rather than being good.

Jesus didn't say much to notorious sinners. Presumably, he disliked their behavior, but he rarely mentioned it. It was the devout who bore the brunt of his anger. Why do you suppose that was?"

This was an excellent meditation and certainly hit home for me. I suppose the greatest danger in reading it was to think of all those other people I believe it applied to rather than thinking of myself and my failures.

Good food for thought for today.

Creator of the Stars of Night

2009-12-10T07:27:00.000-09:00

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

2009-12-07T07:34:00.001-09:00

thought for today

2009-12-04T11:23:00.001-09:00

God of the journey, God of the traveler, we pray for those who leave their homes in search of new beginnings and possibilities. May they know your presence with them. We pray that those who seek to make a home in this country may find us welcoming and willing to help them find a path toward citizenship. We pray that our legislators, as they craft new immigration legislation, may find the wisdom and courage to enact new policies that do justice for our country and for those who would immigrate here. We pray for those who fan the flames of fear and discrimination against the undocumented may be touched with your divine compassion. We pray in Jesus' name, amen.
— adapted from the Archdiocese of Chicago

dogs

2009-11-25T19:18:00.000-09:00

A great post from Povey Prattle.

A dog speaks to God

from Povey Prattle by retiredpove@comcast.net (J. Michael Povey)

FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last question...

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

more dog stuff from my mom

2009-11-22T13:07:00.000-09:00

thanks Mom!

If you don't pass this along, a dog will visit your computer!

Oops...guess you didn't send it fast enough!

"UNTIL ONE HAS LOVED AN ANIMAL, PART OF THEIR SOUL REMAINS UNAWAKENED."

dogs and kids

2009-11-22T09:20:00.000-09:00

This came from my Mom. Thanks Mom!

Who needs a baby sitter?

A little irreverent humor

2009-11-22T08:15:00.001-09:00

I found this at my irreverent friend Kirkepiscatoid !

Oh Happy Day

2009-11-21T14:44:00.001-09:00

I Will Follow Him

2009-11-20T17:00:00.001-09:00

I love this particular arrangement. OK, I love "Sister Act" too!

love those animals

2009-11-19T15:31:00.001-09:00

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...

my god is too small

2009-11-19T06:39:00.001-09:00

One of my favorite shows has been in re-runs lately and it has reminded me of a number of things. Even though I have mentioned it in several sermons in the past it is worth repeating. The show is "Joan of Arcadia". God appears to the teenager Joan in various forms throughout the episodes. The one form that made me realize that my god was too small was when God appeared as a teen goth. And it bothered. Because my picture of god was too small to accommodate that view.

I think it is an overwhelming temptation to box god up in the package we want to see her. Anything that threatens that view of god is very threatening to us.

I pray that God will help to to open up my understand of what and who god is. I pray that god will help me to open up and see god in ways and in places that I would never image god to be.

Somehow I imagine that this will be a life long struggle for me.

The Servant Song

2009-11-17T07:32:00.002-09:00

This was one of the hymns in church last Sunday. It is a beautiful song. I'm struck however, by the sad realization of how often I have failed in my own life to live up to being as Christ to others. My prayer is that this song will remind me fresh every day of the challenge to be as Christ to others in all I do.

thought for today

2009-11-12T10:19:00.001-09:00

The Christian faith for most people is not communicated by doctrinal pronouncements ... but by what goes on in the church in its most local setting. It is here, in the church down the street, that people are caught up in the Gospel promise -- or are turned away.

- James C. Fenhagen, from his book Mutual Ministry

Give now to ERD

2009-11-08T18:20:00.000-09:00

Double the impact of your gift!

For a limited time, you can double your impact, dollar-for-dollar, around the world. Two very generous donors to Episcopal Relief & Development have agreed to match every contribution we receive by November 30, dollar-for-dollar, up to a total of $250,000! Gifts to all funds will be matched, including Gifts for Life. (Please note that the matching contribution for all gifts will be designated to our Area of Greatest Need fund.)

Your matched gift will alleviate hunger, improve food supplies, create economic opportunities and promote health for people living in poverty – but we must receive your gift by Monday, November 30, to double its impact.

Click here to give.

One reason why we dont' need health care reform. :)

2009-11-07T08:34:00.000-09:00

If bleeding and leeches was good enough health care for the Founding Fathers, it should be good enough for you!

thought for today

2009-11-05T12:15:00.001-09:00

This reminds me to be thankful for all those who work in food banks:

Distributing food is a unique act of love because food is the basis for life. When the church can distribute food, it can allay one of people's most primal fears -- that of going hungry -- as a way of helping people come to peace. When sources of food are close at hand, peace may be sustained.

- Pamela Couture, Vice President for Academic Affiars, Dean, and professor at Saint Paul School of Theology

thought for today

2009-11-05T06:41:00.001-09:00

Thanks to Karl for this.

Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

- Martin Luther King Jr.

thought for today

2009-10-16T11:04:00.001-08:00

I don't find anything comparable to the magnificent beauty of a soul and its marvelous capacity.

- Saint Teresa of Avila, from The Interior Castle

Prayers

2009-10-09T06:59:00.002-08:00

Prayers for Mary Beth, a young woman having brain surgery, may God strengthen her and be with her, her family, and the doctors and nurses;
Prayers for those traveling, particularly my friends Maria and Peter;
Prayers for those in need, in our own communities and throughout the world.

thought for today

2009-10-07T12:04:00.001-08:00

To say that I am made in the image of God is to say that love is the reason for my existence, for God is love. Love is my true identity. Selflessness is my true self. Love is my true character. Love is my name.

- Thomas Merton,
from A Book of Hours

Prayers

2009-10-05T06:41:00.002-08:00

Prayers for Dennis for a successful surgery, which reminds me to be grateful for having access to wonderful health care, a blessing not shared by many people in the world and sadly not shared by some in my own nation;
Prayers of gratitude for a roof over my head and a warm place to call home, another blessing not shared by many people in the world and sadly not shared by some in my own nation;
Prayers that God would help remind me that all of the material blessings I have received all come from God and that all I have is truly God's.

thought for the day

2009-10-04T09:43:00.001-08:00

Stolen shamelessly from a friend:

We all fall from grace, some take the scenic route, some the expressway.

Prayers

2009-10-04T07:53:00.002-08:00

For those pursuing ordination; that all would feel God's guiding presence;
for those who work with the poor and those in prison; that they might be Jesus to the people in their midst;
for those who feel marginalized in the church; that they might know that they are loved and appreciated;
For our pets as many of them are blessed this day; for the unceasing love and companionship they provide for us.

Prayer

2009-10-03T08:43:00.001-08:00

For my friend Maria who is traveling, and for all those traveling for a safe journey;
Thanksgiving for the rain, which while I don't enjoy walking in it all that much, provides many abundant blessings!

Prayers

2009-10-02T06:33:00.002-08:00

For creation and all the blessings we receive from it, and that we might be good stewards of the earth and its resources;
Thanksgiving as I watch the snow line march down the mountains;
I pray for a grateful heart for all the blessings God has given me, and for a clarity of vision to see those many blessings I miss in my life.

God and Dog

2009-09-30T06:58:00.002-08:00

This is absolutely fantastic! Tip of the biretta to Fran!

Prayers

2009-09-30T06:44:00.002-08:00

Prayers for my friends Sue and Dennis, one just recovering from hip surgery and one just getting ready to have it; and for all those in hospitals and for those who care for them;
Prayers of thanksgiving for a wonderful summer here in Alaska;
For our pets and all animals; thankful for the blessings they bring into our lives;
For my friends Hank and Karl and for all those in prison.

Prayers

2009-09-29T06:36:00.002-08:00

For those without access to health care, but in our own country and the world;
For those who have lost their jobs;
Asking God to make us mindful of the blessings we have received in our lives;
For those in prisons and for those who visit and minister to them.

Prayers

2009-09-28T06:50:00.001-08:00

For those whose lives are in danger in the service of our country, that God will protect them;
For those whom we could call enemies, that we might treat them as Christ would treat them;
For my light in our lives, that we might shine forth the love of God in the world;
For those who serve the marginalized, that God would bless them and give them strength and courage in their work.

Prayers

2009-09-27T08:12:00.004-08:00

Continued prayers for Mark after the loss of his beloved Nikoli, and prayers for all the bereaved;
For those in the flooded areas of our country, and for those in other parts of the world suffering drought;
For those who went to sleep last night hungry;
For those exposed to danger in the war torn areas of our country;
For God to awaken our hearts to the places where we can best serve and the strength and will and compassion to do so.

thought for today

2009-09-23T10:15:00.001-08:00

I am your message, Lord. Throw me like a blazing torch into the night, that all may see and understand what it means to be a disciple.

- St. Maria Skobtsova,
Orthodox nun and martyr (1891-1945)

thought for today

2009-09-21T08:56:00.000-08:00

Reconciliation is the ultimate aim of nonviolence because nonviolence holds not only for the absolute inviolability of the human person, both friend and enemy, but maintains that human beings are ultimately one family, brothers and sisters to each other.

- Niall O'Brien,
Columban priest in the Philippines

thought for today

2009-09-16T06:48:00.000-08:00

Lord, let the thick skin that covers me not be a hindrance to you. Pass through it. My eyes, my hands, my mouth are yours. This sad lady in front of me: here is my mouth for you to smile at her ... This smug young man, so dull, so hard: here is my heart, that you may love him, more strongly than he has ever been loved before.

- Madeleine Delbrêl,
Missionary and activist (1904-1964)

prayer request

2009-09-15T07:08:00.001-08:00

My good friend Mark just lost his partner to a tragic auto accident. Please keep Mark in your prayers.

thought for today

2009-09-15T06:39:00.001-08:00

As truly as God is our Father, so truly is God our Mother. Our Father wills, our Mother works, our good Lord the Holy Spirit confirms.

- Julian of Norwich
Catholic mystic (1342-1416)

prayer request

2009-09-09T21:05:00.001-08:00

I would appreciate it if everyone could keep my friend Pastor Peter in your prayers. His brother died suddenly and the family is gathering. Pray for strength and travel mercies.

Thanks!

hooray for the Irish

2009-09-07T08:30:00.001-08:00

A tip of the biretta to Elizabeth for this.

thought for today

2009-09-04T07:41:00.001-08:00

Maybe I’m not making big changes in the world, but if I have somehow helped or encouraged somebody along the journey then I’ve done what I’m called to do.

- Sister Thea Bowman
African-American Franciscan (1937-1990)

thought for today

2009-09-02T06:43:00.000-08:00

There can be no evangelization without incarnation.

- Alvaro Barreiro, Brazilian Catholic theologian

thought for today

2009-09-01T06:48:00.001-08:00

The struggle between sin and salvation is not confined to some inner world ... it is fought out in the economic and political, and in the cultural and ecclesisastical spheres as well.

- Donald Dorr, Catholic missionary priest

thought for today

2009-08-31T10:58:00.001-08:00

I am leaving the brilliant world where I occupied a high position, and now.... I am about to ascend into a much greater world, the world of the poor.

- St. Elizabeth Feodorovna(1864-1918)

thought for today

2009-08-28T07:18:00.001-08:00

War is only a cowardly alternative to the problems of peace.

- Thomas Mann, German writer, social critic, and Nobel Prize laureate (1875-1955)

thought for today

2009-08-27T07:06:00.001-08:00

It is not the product of a victory or a command. It has no finishing line, no final deadline, no fixed definition of achievement. Peace is a never-ending process, the work of many decisions by many people in many countries. It is an attitude, a way of life, a way of solving problems and resolving conflicts.

- Oscar Arias Sanchez,
Excerpted from his 1987 Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.

thought for today

2009-08-25T10:49:00.001-08:00

Prayer holds together the shattered fragments of the creation. It makes history possible.

- Jacques Ellul